::CAUTION SWEARING::

You know, some things just really piss me off.

I'm so tired of seeing these pictures of just regular, maybe somewhat obese women eating food with nasy comments. I saw this one today, this woman was just eating a hotdog. A fucking hot dog. The caption on the bottom read 'obese nation.'

Ok, first of all, NO ONE can ever say they've NEVER eaten a fucking hot dog. Fat people eat hot dogs, skinny people eat hot dogs, you feed cut up hot dogs to your toddler cause that's all they'll fucking eat, you take them camping, you eat one at a local sports event, you grab one from a vendor on your lunchbreak. It's a HOTDOG.

And yes, I can say I'm big. That's cool. But I'm so tired of people making that clear to me. Like I don't fucking know I'm not healthy. Hell, you'd think after the years of staring and being called a cow, and not being noticed at all, or being accepted by my peers, weren't enough to tell me something was wrong, all I have to do is go look down at the scale. Just because people are big doesn't mean they are fucking stupid. People just don't seem to understand there's real people below that waistline. I'm not bitching about being fat, I'm bitching about the damn stereotyping.

I can totally understand how city life and rual places have contributed to obesety. I can also understand people wanting to change it, and some people just being disgusted by it, and I think it's great that the world is doing things to combat the 'epidemic' but everyone has the right to eat a hotdog. It's convienent, cheap, and you can eat it with one hand. I'm not saying go out and eat one everyday, but hell everyone has a life, everyone gets busy once and a while and eating on the go is just convienent. Why should people decide that this woman, probably on the way to work on a lunch break, who happenens to be a little big, is a pig. It's disgusting.

I'm not condoning some of the fast food out there, but there are choices. Ok, deep fried chicken fries with the cheese inside give me the gag reflex, I gotta say, People who choose those are crazy. But sheesh, it's a hot dog.

I try and eat healthy, when I'm with my friends not so much, but at home... It doesn't mean I'm a cow, me being fat has to do with a lack of exercise and how I grew up eating. I don't like doing pointless stuff like weights, it's not going to get me anywhere ok? I spent all weekend bundling branches from a whole fully grown cyprus tree my dad cut down, didn't break a sweat. I'm not afraid of work, but it has to get somewhere. Doing weights at some fitness club gives me no sense of accomplishment at all, when I'm done working out the weights just go back to the same way they were before I picked them up.

And no, I've never had a boyfriend, I've never gotten laid, I've never had some guy hit on me at the movie theater... So don't pay attention to this loser. That's cool. Cause my give a shit has been broken for a long time towards those judgemental people I have to put up with when I order an icecream cone... They can go to hell.

For those of you still reading this, take a moment one day, at the mall, and look for the biggest chick in the place, and truly admire that she's out there, cause the bigger you are the more self concious you are. The more society shuns and the more sting you feel. She's out there, shopping at special stores, pretending to be a part of a society that thinks she's disgusting because she's eating a hot dog, or even just walking past the shop windows.

Take a good long look at her, and watch her follow people with her eyes, tug at her clothes, suck in the gerth. Watch the blush fall across her face as an old man watches her and points a finger. We aren't all supposed to be the same... Some people just hit the bottom of the gene pool and when that happens either it's honored or shunned. She's special. Marolyn Monroe was one of the most beautiful people ever thrust into the hollywood lights, and she was so broken, she killed herself.

Take a moment, and admire the strength it takes to be out there, the grace and the self conviction. Because as human being's we're all struggling to be part of the genepool. That line of really special people who are 'erfect.' All those models with anorexia have just as much of a problem as obese people, and the models are plastered up on some young kid's locker and admired everyday. '36 '24 '36. Yeah there's an accomplishment. Try writing a book, or curing cancer, or helping people in need, or hell make some kind of new math formula or something...

I'm not saying this is me, or that only fat people feel this, but hell, maybe we should go after the people who have extra hairy armpits or something. Yeah. The caption could be 'Hairy Pits, Government plan to take the sasquatch out of the everyday Homosaipien'

Yes, I'm aware this is some kind of speech that sounds perfectly retarded and it seems like just another fat kid trying to make herself feel better. Chances are I'll never write on this topic again, but get it straight. I don't feel bad for myself, I like who I am most of the time, I have things that I'd love to change, but I'm dealing with what I got. Just like everyone else on this sorry little planet. I feel bad for the people who can't see past the narsisism, racisim, and sexism happening in the world. Cause they are missing out. They're the ones that feel iscolated. I feel sorry for the ones who cannot recognize that they have a problem and face it, and I wish them all the strength in the world, cause that's the hardest part. Facing life and the problems that come with it.

-BSF