Thought I'd share today's dream. Weird ass thing that it was.

I was in space, in a spaceship, floating around, with boxes of stuff from my house cause apparently we were moving... But not to space. (Why we would be IN space then is beyond my basic reasoning skills) So I'm not sure how that works, but apparently it did. I decide to plug in my iPod so we can fly through space to awesomeo music that has nothing to do with space, and everything to do about me not being able to stand silence. ... (Cause in space, no one can hear you scream, but I can hear Davey Havok scream juuuust fine. ;D )

Then it cut to James Potter, in space, sans ship, on a pink folding lawn chair, sipping a tropical drink with an umbrella and reading the paper. His feet were propped up on a giant red and white mushroom, and he had a tiny table with a coaster. This is apparently James Potter in heaven, and heaven doubles as space for no apparent reason other then it does.

ANYWAYS, He glances up when our Space ship goes by, cocks an eyebrow, runs a hand through his bedhead hair, and goes, 'uh oh'

I'm somehow out of my body on the space ship, and mentally standing near him. I decide uh oh is a bad thing.

There's a wizard with a giant beard standing beside James, and he says 'What?'

James turns to us and goes 'The spaceship is going to blow up'

Me(thinking)- 'Uh oh'

Weird wizard- 'Can you save it?'

James- 'That's the way I died, so I know what's going to happen.' and then he floats off towards the ship and opens this latch on the side. (Keep in mind the ship is moving(rocketing) through space at a very high speed) Apparently James is also Superman. dun da nah naa. lol

Anyways, he opens this latch, but he's a ghost right, so he doesn't exist, and we don't see him, and we also don't get sucked out of the ship because the freaking door opened. I suppose this is a good thing. So yeh, he's in the cockpit, (which is totally not as fun as it sounds) and he runs towards my iPod and it has it's little silicon skin on it (this is sounding more and more like a bad porno : He goes in the rocket, into to the cockpit, and can't reach the goods cause it's covered in silicon... at least it's not latex.XD)

So he's tearing at this covering, and I remember thinking to myself, he's wrecking my fucking case the asshole. He's trying to rip the case off without unplugging it from the wall, and he finally gets it off, unplugs it, and breathes a sigh of relief as he checks the battery and it's in the red. Not the battery of the ship mind you, the battery of the iPod. So basically, this dream says, if my iPod dies I will die, and phailic shaped rocket ships don't matter when it comes to battery power, just don't hook them up to yer iPod. -_- heh hehheh

Apparently Harry Potter was on the space ship too, even though I don't remember him being there, cause James dramatically goes 'At least my son didn't die the same way I did, that's all I can do for him.'

I'm still confused in regards to if I WAS Harry or not, that would make more sense seeing as I was reading a fic the night before where Harry was gay, and then the rocket thing and the covering thing, and the cockpit thing would have made a hell of a lot more sense, but I'm pretty sure I was just regular, straight, female me, in this dream. So I dunno. James saves my life and goes back to his pink lawnchair in space, with his girly drink and umbrella, and weird old man with beard.

Woo! I'm still alive!

Then the dream changes. Yes, there's more kids. The dream changes and I'm sitting on my bedroom floor, in jeans and a tee, sorting through 3 pencil boxes of used pencil crayons from years gone by that are spread out on the floor. I'm getting really pissed off at these little fuckers because they all don't fit back in the fucking boxes again(I hate it when that happens). So I'm shoving pencil crayons into these boxes, and they're going everywhere.

I was packing because we were moving, and I was frantic and panicky because I had nowhere to start, and I didn't want to leave in the first place, cause I knewthat I'd never be back. The damn pencil crayons weren't fucking cooperating. I was about to throw them across the room when Trev walks into the room and STARES at me.

I'm like 'Why the hell won't this fucking work?' and he just picks up four crayons, sticks them in a box, and closes the lid, glances at me, and doesn't say anything before leaving. So there I am, sitting in the middle of the floor, close to tears, and feeling hopeless and mad cause I have no control over leaving EVERYTHING and Trev did that so fucking easily and I'd been struggling with it for ages.

I've been really depressed and uneasy lately, I'm always feeling rushed, mentally lost, my rents have been discussing moving from the only home I've ever known more and more often, school(drawing class especially) has been stressing me out, I haven't been talking with my friends as often, and I've been feeling kind of iscolated, probably lead to this part of the dream, in a surreal kind of assholeish way. Stupid brother.

I cried cause of a DAS today. Literally cried. It was probably the most pathetic thing I've ever done, but it broke my heart. I can't believe something unintentional has lead to so much goddamn grief for me... and maybe others. Maybe I'd be better off not caring so much...

I wish everyone would just be honest with me. I do, I'd rather hurt then not know. EVERYONE around me is being so fucking cryptic. I can't stand it.

"Corduroy"- Pearl Jam

The waiting drove me mad... you're finally here and I'm a mess
I take your entrance back... can't let you roam inside my head
I don't want to take what you can give...
I would rather starve than eat your bread...
I would rather run but I can't walk...
Guess I'll lie alone just like before...
I'll take the varmint's path... oh, and I must refuse your test
A-push me and I will resist... this behavior's not unique
I don't want to hear from those who know...
They can buy, but can't put on my clothes...
I don't want to limp for them to walk...
Never would have known of me before...
I don't want to be held in your debt...
I'll pay it off in blood, let I be wed...
I'm already cut up and half dead...
I'll end up alone like I began...
Everything has chains... absolutely nothing's changed
"Take my hand, not my picture," spilled my tincture
I don't want to take what you can give...
I would rather starve than eat your bread...
All the things that others want for me...
Can't buy what I want because it's free...
Can't buy what I want because it's free...
Can't be what you want because I'm...
Why ain't it supposed to be just fun
Oh, to live and die, let it be done
I figure I'll be damned, all alone like I began...
It's your move now...
I thought you were a friend, but I guess I, I guess I hate you..


eerie how my iPod chooses songs that work with my life most of the time.

Sorry for the drama, I just need to write it out sometimes, it helps. I hope no one takes it the wrong way, I just have to find my flow again. I'm so tired of being lost. James in a pink folding chair helped. XD

More art will come soon if I get bored, other then that this dream should suffice. It is quite interesting, Freud would have been proud. XD LOL
(Note: As I wrote 'Freud' Crazy Train by Ozzy Osbourne came on, and I almost died laughing)