It's been a while (0.0 holy shit April) since I've updated my journal, so I figure it's just about time to update again -nodnodnodnod-

Sooo, I've been keeping busy, doing a condensed painting course that almost killed me. (See gallery for results), I'm also taking classes at Uni so I'm busy. BUT IT'S SUMMER, and you know what summer means? Camping and roadtrips bitches! Ok, so less camping more studying, but still. CAMPING SHALL HAPPEN, and it shall be GLORIOUS. Uhm, I've been doing alright. It's really rough being out of highschool, I never get so see anyone anymore, cause we all have our own lives. The internet makes that easier, but still.

I don't know, I've been having kind of a rough time lately. It's really hard to describe what I'm feeling. I've been trying to get healthy and stay healthy. School makes that kind of difficult, and it seems every time I make some kind of progress that I can feel good about, I'll go shopping or do something else, and realize maybe it's not as much progress as I once thought. It may not seem like a big deal, but if you're a person like me, you don't get your hopes up in the dressing rooms, you just don't. I never do, except this one time and it reminded me never to get my hopes up. It just broke me a little inside. I don't know, it just never seems to be enough for me to be happy with myself. Bathingsuits just aren't my thing ya know? Which is shit, cause swimming is my favorite thing to do in the summer, and making that mad dash to the water so the hotties on the beach don't see the flab is just the worst feeling in the world.

I'm also now 'activly' looking for a boyfriend. XD Dork thy name is... I don't know, it's an odd situation and a lot of it probably has to do with me over analysing things, but that's just how I've always been. Anyways, that's going alright I suppose. I'm not good with guys for some reason, just not sure what to say I suppose.

I've also been stressin big time about school(it just sunk in that I have a GPA to maintain), I don't think I've ever been so stressed out about school before. At one point I had a large essay due, a HUGE midterm to study for(from 2000bc-1780s, south asiain history holy fuck), 2 paintings to be finished and an entire novel to be read within the span of 3 days. I didn't sleep or eat much at all this week, we'll leave it at that. Being a perfectionist doesn't help in these situations, but it turned out alright I think. Hit the stopwatch I'm done with that for a while. I've got school once a week now, and if I get bored enough I'll go job hunting, but I doubt I'll find anything. -___- No one can find anything, besides, I have summer activities to plan.

Erm, what else... Camping is happening in July and also August, with a road trip in August too. I get off school completely by August -yay- Until September again. I wanted to try and look for a job again but factors got in the way. Mainly my medical insurance and the economy. I REALLY WANT A JOB, I'm sooooo sick of school and I'm SOOO poor. My fam is in the process of maaaybe buying a new car(for my giant almost 16 year old brother). So we're in the 'let's all survive off of macaroni and cheap things' mode. Not great for the diet, but I'll see what I can do. As for the car, it's perdy, I wants to drive it.

Dream wise; I had a dream last night about me, my dad and my mom smoking cigars in my living room -shrugs- no fucking clue what that means.

Fathers day this weekend guys, don't forget!!!

Oh and I'm looking for skins for this journal, and if I ever figure out how to use these skins(I hear I don't need a suscrip for this now) I shall put said skin on my journal. Yesh.

-BSF